Why It’s Worth It | Ever catch yourself daydreaming about being the main character in an epic adventure? (And no, binge-watching someone else’s hero story doesn’t count!) Here’s what’s wild: we’re actually living our own hero’s journey right now – we just might not realize it. Whether we’re battling dragons in a fantasy realm or facing down real-world challenges that feel just as daunting, the power of seeing ourselves as the protagonists in our own stories is absolutely game-changing. 

Sometimes, the most powerful stories aren’t the ones we read about – they’re the ones we’re living. 

In this episode of Choiceology, Katy Milkman explores this mind-blowing concept, discovering how seeing life through the lens of a hero’s journey can transform ordinary challenges into meaningful quests and help people find purpose in their struggles.

Katy starts the show by interviewing Ethan Gilsdorf, who discovered that his childhood obsession with Dungeons & Dragons wasn’t just about rolling dice and fighting imaginary monsters – it was teaching him how to be the hero of his own narrative while dealing with his mother’s devastating brain aneurysm. Katy explores with Ethan how D&D became more than just a game – it was a training ground for real-life resilience. Through their conversation, Ethan reveals how role-playing different characters helped him process trauma and discover inner strength during his mother’s illness.

Next, we hear the extraordinary tale of David Fajgenbaum, who literally had to become the hero of his own story when he found himself racing against time to cure a rare disease that was killing him. His riveting story shows his incredible arc from medical student to patient to researcher racing against time to save his own life (a hero’s journey to end all hero’s journeys).

Katy then talks with neuroscientist Kurt Gray, whose research that shows how viewing our lives through the hero’s journey framework increases our resilience and sense of purpose. Yes, there is a difference between ordinary life events and an epic narrative; but our ordinary life events often come together to make chapters of a pretty meaningful story (who needs epic anyway?). It is so important to realize that every adversity overcome, every loss or hardship we have survived, and every hard-won success combine to form our own hero’s tale.

The episode circles back to examine how David’s quest to cure his own rare disease perfectly mirrors the classic hero’s journey – complete with allies (his medical team and family), obstacles (multiple near-death experiences), transformation (from patient to physician-researcher), and ultimately a legacy that extends far beyond his personal victory (many other lives have been saved). What started as a desperate race to save his own life has evolved into a mission that’s helping countless others through work he does today.

Background | Katy Milkman explores the psychology of decision-making alongside guests Ethan Gilsdorf, writer and D&D enthusiast, David Fajgenbaum, physician, associate professor at Penn Medicine, co-founder of the Castleman Disease Collaborative Network and Every Cure, and author of Chasing My Cure, and Kurt Gray, professor of psychology and neuroscience at UNC-Chapel Hill and director of the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. Key takeaways include:

• The Hero’s Journey Framework: Having a clear narrative structure helps people find meaning in life’s challenges and see themselves as active protagonists rather than passive participants. This mindset builds resilience and purpose.
• The Power of Personal Narrative: Taking control of one’s story – whether through role-playing games or consciously reframing experiences – provides tools for handling real-world challenges and building confidence.
• The Quest Element: Setting clear goals and viewing challenges as part of a larger mission transforms ordinary struggles into meaningful adventures with purpose.
• The Importance of Allies: Recognizing supporters and building connections turns personal challenges into collaborative journeys, making difficult paths more manageable.
• The Transformation Process: Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and change helps people embrace difficult experiences as character-developing moments rather than mere obstacles.
• The Story Structure Effect: Organizing life experiences into a coherent narrative with recognizable elements (challenges, allies, transformation) helps people find meaning and maintain resilience during tough times.
• The Perspective Shift: Viewing life through the hero’s journey lens doesn’t change circumstances but transforms how people interpret and respond to challenges, leading to better outcomes.

Source | Choiceology: A Hero’s Journey – Season 14, Episode 6

About|   Katy Milkman is a behavioral scientist, Wharton professor, national bestselling author, and host of Choiceology, a Charles Schwab original podcast that melds conversations about science, research, and human quirks to help us make better decisions and avoid costly mistakes. She also produces an insightful free newsletter, Milkman Delivers (sign up on her website!). Katy believes the key to changing ourselves for good lies in better understanding the internal obstacles that hold us back.